What Happened to Simon?

453K views238

    I’ve taken a few months off of being on camera. I’ve seen many comments from people asking what happened to me, and I understand. I kinda left without any word. I’m sorry for that. Let me tell you what’s been going on in my life.
    For those of you that are frustrated by my lack of responding to other burning questions that you might have, please don’t let that frustration turn into anger towards me. It’s not that I’m not addressing speculations out of a disrespect towards you. If that’s your first guess, I’m telling you it’s the wrong guess: there are other reasons. There are some parts of my private life that I just don’t feel comfortable talking about yet.
    I made this video because I did see that many were concerned about me. I wanted to make this video for them. And I wanted to just let people know that, even though this is a VERY huge transition in my life, I’m actually doing well in the face of it. I am doing better than I thought I would. I hope that’s the message people can walk away with, and not let their frustration out of curiosity taint that message. I’ll talk about other parts of my life only when I’m comfortable talking about them, and not a second before that, even under a deluge of pressure from others. I’m asking you: please be kind.
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    Published on 18 days ago

    Comments

    1. Simon and Martina

      For those of you that are frustrated by my lack of responding to other burning questions that you might have, please don’t let that frustration turn into anger towards me. It’s not that I’m not addressing speculations out of a disrespect towards you. If that’s your first guess, I’m telling you it’s the wrong guess: there are other reasons. There are some parts of my private life that I just don’t feel comfortable talking about yet. I made this video because I did see that many were concerned about me. I wanted to make this video for them. And I wanted to just let people know that, even though this is a VERY huge transition in my life, I’m actually doing well in the face of it. I am doing better than I thought I would. I hope that’s the message people can walk away with, and not let their frustration out of curiosity taint that message. I’ll talk about other parts of my life only when I’m comfortable talking about them, and not a second before that, even under a deluge of pressure from others. I’m asking you: please be kind.

      1. Fatemeh Maryam Grace

        I'm a new subscriber, and to he honest, do not let others anger or frustration get to you. Life happens, and taking a break to focus on what's going on is also important for you. Hang in there from whatever it is you're working on and know that whatever the outcome, God Willing you come out stronger. Keep going positively. 🙏🏻👍🏻

      2. Azusa Misaki

        Simon, you are absolutely right and I hope you feel better soon enough. Many people love you in this community and wishes you the best! Cause u have been an inspiration! I guess some fans (and I include myself) are very worried about you and Martina and thats what the curiosity to know comes around, cause we want you guys to be healthy both mentally and physically. But please always know that you have the right to show and tell what you feel is neccessary. True fans will stay here always!

      3. Lake Cake

        wishing you both the best and sending love 💕 many of us will b here for u both regardless of what’s going on. many of us have grown up with this channel and i’m so happy to say that i was able to go from a dumb 13-14yr old to a maybe decent 24 yr old while watching ur videos along the way. i hope we get to keep seeing content from u wonderful human beans because i love y’all big much but also if we don’t get that then that’s ok too because we’ve already been so fortunate to enjoy this much of you. thanks -lake♥️

      4. Words & Whimsy

        It's your life and you have a right to total privacy. People should not jump to conclusions, especially those who have followed this channel for a long time.

      5. BARRR

        @Kitiy Coffe tf do you think this is your business

    2. Mar A

      My heart's a little heavy right now, knowing two of my favorite youtubers are having a massive change in their lifestyle currently due to covid-19 along with many other things. I'm ignoring the comment section and going back and rewatching all favorite videos of Simon, Martina, Meemers and obviously Spudgy. I love you guys so much, you bring me so much joy and it eases my anxiety that you guys are both posting and doing well not for each other but for yourselves. Thank you for all the beautiful content 😭

    3. Jae86

      To whoever reads this: Jesus loves you! He died for you! 🤍

    4. alejakruxx

      Hi :) you actually look pretty good and that makes me happy, you really seem to be more at peace and that's always a good thing. 2020 has been hard on a lot of us and I'm really glad you're coming out of this tragedy of a year stronger and more aware of the things YOU want and need. Sending out good vibes!

    5. fuzzyferretlady

      No wedding ring...! D:

    6. Relaxolotl

      This feels like talking to the Other Mother in Coraline. He looks and sounds like Simon, but something is off. I really do hope he is happy and taking care of himself, but this video really unsettled me. I’ve been watching a long time and I truly wish both him and Martina the best.

    7. Monus Brewer

      Just catching up, this is a weird video till the end... I am so confused 🙃 Goodness we miss them together 💝. We miss you guys, take care!

    8. Rhaná Teixeira

      I wish I could face my challenges with such dignity. I am sure you will be proud of yourself. And yes, the hand not moving was freaking me out! hahaha I am sorry about the car accidents though....life can be crazy at times... I saw somewhere that the best thing we can wish for ourselves and others is not the "everything is going to be ok" because that is not necessary true, but that in the face of a challenge you find the strength to face it in the best way possible...so, that's what I wish for myself and for you (and everybody reading). People change and sometimes when things get REALLY though, it's an opportunity for us to became who we really meant to be. Well....hugs from an old fan.

    9. B0ccob

      Holy mother Theresa on the hood of a Mercedes-Benz you lost weight!

    10. MsJavaWolf

      Honestly, I have watched your videos for a long time and I wish you all the best but you don't look healthy at all. If this is just a phase where you want to find yourself that's fine I think, and from what I can see there were a few times when you got a bit chubby maybe but the last time I saw you on the channel you were pretty muscular and healthy looking. I really don't know if this is something you should do in the long run.

    11. Cara S

      RIP

    12. ValnirAesling

      hairloss is no death sentence.

    13. humblebumble

      Any good resources for learning about meditation and its effects on your brain?

      1. humblebumble

        Preferably podcasts or books

    14. TehWeirdo

      I wonder if his arms are a metaphor for his relationship with martina

    15. chocchip187

      Dude you look super unhealthy..... I hope you're doing okay and didn't going a cult

    16. E. I.

      I've tried meditation but always end up falling asleep...

    17. kingmezs23

      I really like this "new" simon a lot. I've been on a similar path, and recently since graduating trade school I've been feeling lost once again even though I have a job on the horizon. It's nice to hear others centering themself's to remember to do it to yourself

    18. Fielani Pohahau

      Loved to see you back, but this was kind of alarming. Reminds me of when I broke up with my bf in hs and became vegan and swore I was reaching food enlightenment for like two weeks, then ate a burger and realized either way I was still sad.

    19. dd dd

      Nah Simon is not okay I was like that when I was depressed dont let it get to you

    20. fangirlme33

      Hi, I hope you are doing okay, Simon. It sounds like you are, so here's to hoping for your continued happiness. I appreciate you letting us know even a little bit about your life, and I know that we are not entitled to anything else you don't want to share. Thanks for being a big part of my viewer life on youtube *in the past (and if you continue to do so in the future, I look forward to it, but again, not expected of course), and for trying to stay positive even in the light of bad youtube comments and such. Thanks again, and hope you have a good time to yourself, and use this time to its fullest extent.

    21. Renata Zambo

      I never comment (like ever) but I will post this: Meditation changed my life forever as well. I’ve been an OG follower from years ago and I’m so glad you guys came back (also a Toronto resident!) So so so thrilled to see what’s to come. So much love and light your way ❤️❤️❤️❤️

    22. Aaron Downing

      Very, very cryptic.

    23. XYZ LUCINA

      Mid Life Crisis's suck. Working with and being married to one person for over a decade, whilst living abroad, not being near family, and dealing with health issues on both sides would be murder on any relationship. We are all reading between the lines and getting that you guys are possibly about to "consciously uncouple". I hope the best for both of you, and good luck on your journey Simon.

    24. Return My Slab

      We love you Simon

    25. boredcow

      Was super concerned at first seeing this video but upon rewatching it, I think I can really see that Simon is on a good path :) It's just different from what viewers are used to, but I believe what he's saying and that he's a better version of himself from before. I know Martina's chronic illness has been hard on their relationship so I trust that they are doing what they can to work on themselves separately and so that they can come back together stronger. Much love for you two!! Will be a supporter always and wishing for the best for you two!

    26. Hey Lena

      @Simon are you following a certain meditation plan/channel/guru???-- or is it all self meditation. I'm intrigued! I did some meditation in university, but then found I had no time -- or maybe just couldn't commit to making time-- to do it when I was living in Japan.

    27. Qwertana

      I'm sorry Simon, but.. Even if I heard what you said you don't look happy nor healthy.. You remind me of my darkest time in my life when I was just an empty shell who said she was perfectly fine and happy and complete but in reality everything screamed that I was ready to collapse at any moment.. I'm so worried for you.. I hope you'll be alright.

    28. Ocelot

      Simon, I'm sorry people are rejecting a you that you're actually happy with. I've been there, my fiance's been there. People want to focus on the one thing you're trying to stop focusing so much on, and tell you all your improvements are different and weird. The only thing that stays the same is things always change. It's okay to change.

    29. lifebythehour

      I, like so many other commenters, am a looooooong time subscriber, and I have so much gratitude for you and Martina. I was a teenager when I started watching your videos-- barely interested in K-Pop and had yet to try Korean food. Not only did you two introduce me to so many new things, I saw you as role models. I never put you on a pedestal (everyone makes mistakes), but your curiosity, excitement, and engagement with the world were the infectious and inspiring qualities I needed to experience. Almost every video made me smile and helped bring me out of some dark times. You never owed that to your subscribers, but that is what you gave us and I thank you endlessly for that. I hope you both stay well, take care of yourselves, and be happy. Good luck with the growth to come :)

    30. Lindsey Miles

      I'm not one to speculate about other people's personal lives not even people I know really well and I don't use twitter or whatever so I missed all the inquisitive questions and speculation. When you guys hadn't posted in a while I checked FB and I read that you were taking a break and I was like okay cool. I wasn't worried until I saw you at the beginning of the video because sudden weight loss can be quite serious. My brother, he's a big guy always has been and a while back he had that surgery to help him loose weight because nothing else he did helped, and his wife was like you have to tell your mom first because if she sees you and you've lost a lot of weight since the last time she saw you she'll freak out. At the start of the video it's like all the sudden you're a lot thinner. In reality it's been months since the last time I saw you on camera, but that startling difference between the last time I saw you and this time was unsettling and worrisome. Then I watched the video and you seem good, less hyper but still you, actually you were pretty similar to that video you did when you talked about meditation and running the first time. As the Doctor says, we are all different people throughout our lives. So I get you're going through something transformative as we humans do. Anyway, thank you for taking the time to make this video to explain even though it's really none of our business. You take care of yourself, do what feels right and don't worry about the rest of us.

    31. Andy lopez

      Saitama sama in the flesh

    32. Sophie

      love you simon :-) i hope the concern we express is seen more as somebody asking if you have your seatbelt on before a long car ride, rather than people saying you can't go on a trip and explore. the precepts of meditation can become its own high, and encourage detachment and isolation in ways that can stifle the most meaningful parts of living when unbalanced. when much of our life is dominated by being unable to control negative thoughts/emotions, that first foray into emotional control is like boromir with the ring of power hahahha. im very excited for your journey but i really do encourage you to keep your circle close to you as you tread deeper - they are your best anchor and will catch you if you trip ! all love to you !

    33. toroc

      I also meditate every day about 1hour usually split into two 30min sessions. Coincidentally my meditation time crosses over with another one of my hobbies 👀 and I feel like I have gained more self awareness? Like I’m better able to understand my self and be able to retrain my brain? 🧘🏽‍♀️ 🍁🕓2️⃣0️⃣🧠 🧘🏽‍♀️ Incase our hobbies 👀 are similar I would recommend expanding your tastes. 👅👈🏽

    34. Kokoro doki doki

      I'm giving a daily meditation practice a try! So glad it's been working out so well for you, Simon. :D

    35. Unicornsnow Studio

      Rooting for you! I met you in Texas when you were touring and you were such a sweet person!

    36. Serendipity

      you lovable hippy! (no disrespect) Love you guys!

    37. Monga Poni

      Are you doing any weight training ?

    38. Tien Le

      I want both of them to be ok mentally and emotionally but i honestly feel like it's an end to an era :( I hope you two are getting the help and peace you both deserve. You don't owe us anything and always put yourself first. It just makes me sad that those types of videos where I would be so excited to watch and laugh at ... might be over. But in all seriousness, they deserve to be at peace and be healthy. Love you two. Hope to see you both soon.

    39. Wild openings

      Hi Simon and Martina, I've been following you guys since I was in University! You flew from Canada to Korea, and I flew from Hong Kong to the UK! Although I've never commented, I always love your videos. The relationship between you two is so amazing and your ability to truly be yourself has always been inspiring!! I can feel your development Simon and I'm so happy to see that! My best wishes to you xxx

    40. Dave Daniels

      I felt your sense serenity. Best regards!

    41. Thekla M

      Considering that people are still speculating both on USfilm and on Instagram. I think it would have been better for their own mental health to not post any Updates past the "We moved back to canada" and take a break until you were ready to at least give a clearer explanation on what is going on. A good few people will now say "Their private life has nothing to do with us" I agree, BUUUUUT a larger amount of people clearly are speculating and this will only end when things become clear to them. And clearly Simon is aware and the part at 8:10 .... Honestly if you don't want people to continue with speculations then don't do such a childish thing. But maybe it is what he wants...dunno He should be aware that this video would just add fuel to the fire. I saw Martinas replies on Insta saying something along the lines of "We don't know/have not come to a solution" but to me it seems they are clearly seperated. Not divorced but we can tell from the no rings, not in the same location and not filming together. Some argued "meemers is in both their videos". Well he IS both their pet and almost child so i would not be surprised that they do a "shared custody" kinda thing.

    42. wolfwolfj

      Get it dude!💪🏼💯

    43. Grey

      “I don’t have a namaste voice yet” LOL this is the most namaste voice I’ve ever heard

    44. Grey

      There is an unexplainably disturbing vibe a lot of people feel from this video. It’s more of a concern than anything, because he seems like he can crumble down any time (both physically and mentally). It feels like he’s barely hanging onto something and in denial of everything else. Before reading some of comments that share similar concerns, I did not know of the dangers of meditation, when taken too far. This video almost gives off a cult vibe.. Hope you are alright, Simon..

    45. twirlyjules

      With his expression of him “finally feeling happy and at peace,” it feels a bit unfair to question that- questioning someone with a history of struggling with their mental health when they themselves feel they have worked hard to get to the place of peace and stability that they are in now is extremely damaging. And no one should be urging another to seek psychiatric help in such a far removed position from their personal family and friend group or medical providers. . That truly is not the place of a fan who knows the individual simply from what they choose to put online.. Y’all doing too much in the comments, fr.

      1. Wickedly Read

        When someone has a drastic flip-flop personality change and loses so much weight that it's grossly unhealthy, it's definitely time to seek mental help. Especially when friends and family (as he's said in another video) are expressing concern because they are seeing this huge shift too. Like I said in my other comment, I have struggled with loved ones (close mentors and friends) having BPD. What I didn't mention is that I have it too. In manic stages, I absolutely feel "one with the universe" and "on the right track". If I didn't have loved ones who pointed out that my actions and behaviors weren't normal, I would be in a very different and bad place right now. The problem is that with an extreme high (like possibly what Simon is experiencing) there will come an extreme low. My concern is that this is someone who has already expressed experiencing an extreme low (on the tattoo sleeve video) and dealt with suicidal thoughts. This is my worst fear is that if my gut instinct is right about this situation, Simon could be on a very bad path. It's not something to be ashamed about, but whatever "therapist" he's going to who is just prescribing meditation and exercise seems to be overlooking a lot of serious chemical imbalances. This is obviously not just coming from fans. He has clearly stated friends and family have all expressed extreme concern.

    46. Sid Michael

      What's going on?

    47. Ana •

      Holy shit he skinny

    48. Janse Dadis

      Hey, would be amazing to see tips you have for meditating. I've heard good things about it but whenever I do try to do it, I don't seem to reap the benefits. I want to deal with my anxiety and my overthinking

    49. hdz hdz

      Why is this video makes me feel like there not together anymore?😔

    50. MsScrappydodo

      I miss the old Simon.

    51. princessjupita

      I was a big eatyourkimchi fan back in the early, early days (the first vid I watched of you guys was of Korean snacks reviews, when you were still English teachers). Shortly after came the ramen reviews then kpop stuff and I always looked forward to kpop Mondays. I stopped following closely when you moved to Japan, but would pop in every once in a blue moon to make sure you were doing well. But looking back at eatyourkimchi and now, I can barely recognize you Simon, particularly vibe-wise. Your voice ... it's like it's not you. Meditation, though feels great at first, is actually a very dangerous thing. You open yourself up to so much more than you bargained for. Seeing you both without wedding rings breaks my heart. You two were (are) my motivation to desire a quarrel-free, strife-free relationship. When people argue with me that such doesn't exist, I always refer to you two as the exception and say if you guys exist then such a love exists. Its because the love you guys portrayed looked so pure and joy-filled. This is tough mehn. I guess... I wish you two all the very best.

    52. Michelle Sullivan

      I was not going to comment but I actually felt frightened watching this. There is something deeply disturbing about human beings when they obviously are not okay, but they are putting on an act as if it a play and the show must go on. He is clearly not mentally okay, and before he said he lost the weight because of his own desires I thought he was suffering from a medical issue. Im just so disturbed because they have put on a strong face for over a decade, and for the first time I think ive seen from them they are cracking under the pressure. I hope they can financially support themselves without youtube, because right now I think the last thing they need to be doing is trying to put on a fake face of being okay.

    53. Karla Nichelle

      This is so sad and strange! Like the end of an era. I moved to Korea in 2013 because of these two. lol! Also, this is always the way with any couple, right? They share share (sometimes over share) when things are good, getting people invested, shouting from the rooftops. But then as soon as things go sour it’s “respect our privacy and our choices!!” I’m not mad at them for that at all, but that’s ALWAYS the way it is. *shrugs* Times are hard and mental health is so important. I wish them both the best! They had lovely chemistry and it was fun being on the journey with them while it lasted! They used to make me laugh until I cried sometimes. I’m grateful for that.

    54. KARLA Ohara

      WAIT.....THEY ARE NOT TOGETHER ANYMORE!!!!!!!!

    55. Grey

      This is so damn weird. I’ve been watching them since 2012ish? But stopped watching when they moved to Japan because the vibe didn’t click with me any more. Anyways, these past few days, I randomly started to miss their old FAPFAP videos, so I’ve been watching many of them (8-9 years ago when they were living in a small apartment and made food delivery videos etc) and then this shows up. Been away for so long, randomly started watching old videos, and now this... I’m just feeling really ambivalent

    56. erika

      We love you Simon!!!!! Thank god you’re well, I was nervous opening this video!!!! Your mental health is the most important thing! Please come back to us soon 😘

    57. Justin Lee

      i watched you since i was 9 (6 years ago) and you look so different in a good way congrats

    58. Wickedly Read

      If Simon is 6'5", the medically suggested weight for a man his height is 187 - 229 lbs. But, he's currently at 168 lbs. I understand weight and health is deeply personal, but as a viewer who is married to a 6'5" man-- this is just deeply troubling to me. At my husband's thinnest, he was 190 lbs. To put this in perspective, I could literally see his ribs and there was honestly no more visible bodyweight he could lose. Seeing Simon's face in this video shocked me-- it reminded me of my deceased brother in law (who greatly favors Simon); the dramatic change before he passed with cancer from healthy to very frail. Simon, your appearance is very alarming! My point is that even though Simon is saying he's happy and healthy, I am genuinely concerned he has gone down a very dangerous path. In a previous video, "Running and Meditation Changed My Life", Simon mentions that his friends and even his father have shown genuine concern for his well-being. Clearly, Simon isn't listening to fans, friends, or family and some part of this is driving a wedge in his marriage. This is alarming!! Whatever is happening with Simon, this is not the definition of healthy and happy. I've been a viewer for the last 5 years and seeing this makes me so sick with worry. I don't want to add to the fire of conjecture, but something very serious is happening here and I'm worried it is a severe mental break or BPD mania. We already know Simon has dealt with spells of deep depression and he is a sensitive person who has a lot of anxiety. Anxiety/depression and BPD are comorbid. I'm speaking as someone who has first hand experience dealing with a loved one with severe BPD. From the bottom of my heart, I really am very concerned about his safety both mentally and physically. If any of this is the case, I beg S&M fans to please lay off Simon & Martina. They will give us answers when they are ready. Please don't add any hurtful comments. I realize you don't know them personally, but they ARE real people who read these comments. And, Simon if you're reading this, please-- your actions / choices / and thoughts are not normal right now. I'm begging you to find a psychiatrist (NOT therapist). You both are kind, good people-- no one is perfect.

      1. Bella Taína

        Im affraid snd i think like you

      2. The K

        @kalmtraveler you are 181 he is 167 that is a huge difference. I don't think it's that meaningless.

      3. kalmtraveler

        As a 6'4.5" man myself, I can assure you that 'medically suggested weight' is almost meaningless. Bodyfat percentage is a much more useful metric for assessing healthy body composition than just weight. Speaking for myself, I managed to diet and exercise my way down to 181 lbs last summer and on a full body scan I was still 16% bodyfat which is totally healthy, but not even 'athletic'. I just barely started to have visible abs. Keep in mind that men are totally healthy even to just below 10% bodyfat before any potential health issues arise. The root of misunderstanding here is that our medical system doesn't take into account frame size. People are not all the same build, and a lean thin-framed man will weigh substantially less than a lean robust-framed man of the same height.

      4. H

        He looks like he might be addicted to opioids or something.

      5. The K

        @Serendipity I don't know he didn't look healthy to me. And someone can feel healthy and be anything but. So... Given what the OP said it's a serious concern to have. I hope actions recommended are taken.

    59. Rosemary Geist

      I hope that you can find the solace and strength you're looking for! It sounds like a difficult journey that youre facing head on, and that you've already started with the soil under your foundation. Thank you for sharing with us. I hope to see your future journey! Lots of love - long time fan ♡

    60. Noomwa Lis

      No, not on camera. You horn dogs! Lolol. I've missed you guys.

    61. Valencia Hemmings

      People have been subscribed to this channel for nearly a decade and deserve...idk. Not this. It's been a year of confusion and misinformation. If y'all need time to figure out what you're doing with this channel, take it. But talking about your six pack and not your relationship isn't helping anyone.

    62. Rebecca Mercado

      This is so exciting, Simon. I'm very happy for you. Mindfulness and meditation are so needed right now, for all of us. I just started developing my own practice (just 5-10 mins a day for now) and look forward to learning from you when you're ready to share. Love to you and Martina.

    63. Flyx

      This gives me creeps, sadly. He looks sick and talks so unnatural. "I feel very happy" No, no happy vibes at all! I hope he gets better soon.

    64. Sarah Vans Mootoo

      Sending good vybes♡ Will always be here!

    65. Allen Hooreh

      Stopped watching this channel a year ago when Simon said he was getting into meditation. I knew it would be bad, because I've been down that road and many warned me but I didn't listen. If we empty out the garbage of our minds we will see benefits, yes. However, most of this meditation empties everything else out with it, including all the compassion and zest. When I was meditating daily I could do things that I've never been able to do before, and haven't been able to do since. My focus was laser like, but I was also a zombie. I was so emotionally detached from reality that I could see something truly shocking and have no internal reaction, or I could witness something truly beautiful and emotional and not be moved. My compassion faded, my 'true' compassion I should say, because I was literally in every sense of the word self centered at all times. We are called to be the salt of the earth, giving it flavor. When salt loses that flavor it is no longer of value. Simon referred to himself before as 'frenetic.' I didn't view it as that, I viewed him as a normal person with flaws like anybody else, but full of passion and zest and flavor for life. He was ALIVE, frenetic or not. I would stop this meditation immediately and instead discover the true meaning behind meditation by reading a book called 'The Ways of Mental Prayer.' Meditation opens a pathway, so it is a double edged sword. If you've already meditated for a year and are adept, then you are at a huge advantage when reading this book and using it as a guide. Please do not make the same mistakes that I have made and whatever you do, never try and communicate with any 'entity' that is beckoning you while meditating, don't work towards any vibrations in your body and never attempt to disconnect from your body under any circumstances. There are dangers in meditation that the New Age movement doesn't reveal and aren't often discussed. Even if you don't believe in any of that stuff, be open minded enough to read The Ways of Mental Prayer and see where it takes you before you bind yourself to anything, if that hasn't happened already.

      1. Tsukasa K

        @MsJavaWolf You may already understand this but here's something I've always been told; Meditation is to be done within daily life. It supports daily life. You can not escape the reality of daily life except in the few moments when your mind is clear. Enlightenment is experienced on each single occasion, not then acquired for you to keep. To imply so would make you "Yakozen". Your life itself will never be enlightened, and that's why you will need sadness, anger, compassion. You need to let yourself feel whatever you feel and reflect on it later. Doesn't mean you should be trying to clear your mind /all/ the time of /everything/. (Again, this is specifically Zen type thought so it might be different to whatever you may be practicing but some food for thought?) Regardless of whether meditation is for you I hope your days will be happy!

      2. MsJavaWolf

        I can actually relate to this. I was meditating a lot a few years ago and I had similar effects, at some point I think it was no longer positive for me. I have started again only 2 weeks ago and my focus is already way sharper than it has been for years, but I will have to limit it because I again feel like I am losing something.

      3. Tsukasa K

        @Allen Hooreh :) We can both agree to hope for the best between the two of them.

      4. Allen Hooreh

        @Tsukasa K I've got to say this was the most respectful "Agree to Disagree" type conversation I've had in a long time. I wish more people approached disagreements with the same type of grace that you've shown!

      5. Tsukasa K

        @Allen Hooreh I understand, my speculations about them are probably not dissimilar to yours. I personally think he's probably got things under as much control as he can and that meditation and mindfulness seems to be what's keeping him sane under unavoidable stressful circumstances, not necessarily the cause of the pain if that makes sense. You have had your experiences with those things and are probably more inclined to see it a certain way (as we all do with anything in life) but yes, who's to know.

    66. CatBeLazy Spiffy

      There is nothing wrong when it comes to being a little selfish for your own well being! For your real fans, we're proud of you! It's good to hear from you when you get the chance to update us. Keep improving! We love you!

    67. Eievuiroll

      Bit late to watching this as it seemed like a bit of a sad video. I'm glad you have found peace with yourself and appreciate/ take care of yourself more. I think a lot of people are just worried about you both, as am I. You do look very tired, I don't know what your personal life is like, I remember you mentioned it yourself to get a good amount of sleep but I don't know what's been happening so I can't comment. Personally, although you look so different which will take a bit of getting used to, I welcome this new presence of Simon because it's calming and more relatable. Fudgy is also the most cutest dog I have seen in while! Look after yourselves.

    68. Deplore

      Love both y'all. Looking HEALTHY as hec big bro.

    69. Binibini

      Please don't divorce each other. You are literally the couple that made me believe in love. Please please please don't. Been watching u guys since ur kpop vids. I always dreamed of having a relationship like yours and I finally found my ducky too. We even call each other "duck" in my country's language. You two are my role model. Please make it work. I know you two can. 🥺

    70. owned2hell

      All you nosey nelly's gtfo, it's cool to see Simon again for some time :p stay strong and stay safe 💪 ✌️

    71. a bowl of makgeolli

      I'm glad you are doing your best to better yourself. I support you, Simon! Rest if you want 😊 I hope you well and good health. God bless to you both 💖

    72. Jeldyn Mae Amer

      Watching that they are not together is 🥺 coz simon and martina is that couple that pushes through everything.. 🥺 hoping and wishing for your happiness ♥️

    73. RandomnessLOL

      Repeat after me- Content creators owe us nothing. In exchange for their content and entertainment we give them time and that often translates to money. You are more than free to skip ads. Can we stop demanding much of their personal life? Of course we want to know, we’re emotionally invested with them, but let’s have just as much respect for them and their personal lives.

      1. Thiades is awesome

        Definitely. They don't owe us anything. Just don't put out stupid, cryptic videos at all then. That'd be better, but no, got to get the youtube dough.

    74. Eliana Negri

      Congratulations Simon! I know it's daunting to put yourself out there to the world, and have them see you change. Change is a strange thing. Oftentimes people will oppose it and challenge it in any form since it makes them uncomfortable about something within themselves. But I can see as someone who has been through a similar experience, that this change is truely a benefit to you. Pay no mind to those who are "worried" for you on your own behalf. Well done for starting such a transformative practice. I wish you abundance and peace for you and your family~

    75. Connie Thevenin

      ...?

    76. Connie Thevenin

      ...?

    77. Beaute Noiré

      Simon your life is your own, whatever is going on is yours to share should you want to, and if not that is also your choice. I’ve been watching you and Martina since you had moved to Japan my son introduced me to your Channel. Just be well, heal, be with your family. Whatever is going on will pass. I wish nothing more but say thanks for such great content, inspiring me to want to travel to Korea and Japan, thanks for all the Spudgy and meemers moments and, just watching you and Martina be fun. Wishing you both peace and sending love ❤️

    78. No One

      Oh hes high

    79. Capt JackPal

      How the heck do you get into 2 accidents side by side.

    80. Soyachan

      Zenmon

    81. S Dawes

      this is not good......

    82. antikimchi1

      When Simon sat in front of the camera and I noticed how thin he is my heart sunk. I wish the best for both of you! Add oil!!

    83. copper sugar

      why is everyone so weird about this video? i havent caught up with this channel in years, but it literally just seems like a guy who's finally at peace and content.

    84. Lora K.

      To Simon, thank you for making this video. I could not imagine amount of pressure you felt before filming this. We appreciate everything you do. We'll always here for you and will supporting you always 🥰

    85. BB vistas7

      We love you, Simon! You will always be our chief Nasty. Be well and safe. 😊👍💜

    86. Lora K.

      Let me tell you all my story, before when I was in an unhealthy relationship, I was this sweet, always smiling, never complaining person. But, I was extremely depressed and unhappy. It took me sometimes, but I realized I need to focus on myself and put myself first before everything and anyone else. I finally found my voice, broke off the relationship, and started working on finding my purpose in life. I feel so much happier and in control of my life now. However, if you ask people around me they'd say I'm different. They say I changed because I no longer let their words affect me. I no longer listen to their words that I know would do me no good. I no longer smile in their faces when they say hurtful things to me. I fight back and I'm no longer the Ms. Nice lady they used to know. But I don't care, I feel so much more free now, and I feel so much better about myself. Simon had stated in their latest videos in japan how unwell he was. Martina's condition was taking a toll on him more than her and he felt more and more helpless. Whenever Martina left for a few days he would literally cry, and that to me does not seem like something a "happy healthy" person would do. He was no okay from the beginning, yet he pretended to be for everyone's sake. I hope you all give him some leeway because this is life, people go through hardships, people have to find ways to adapt to reach better well being and that leads them to change. No person can stay the same all their life it's unrealistic and unreasonable.

      1. access denied

        A happy healthy person...I'd love to be that someday

    87. Celena Martin

      Preachy.

    88. at

      I think Simon might come out as you know 💅which is perfectly fine. But I have a feeling he's been 💅

      1. Valicore

        I hate that I thought this too

    89. Sarah Historia

      I've been meditating for some years now, I felt so much better and was more at piece with myself. Then I stopped, because I had some really stressful time and hadn't thr time to do it anymore and I'm feeling so much worse now. But your video motivates me so much to try and meditate regularly again. 💪🏻 I wish you the best on your journey and believe in you. I'm sure everything will turn out fine in the end.

    90. Joseph Reynolds

      So you and Martina are separated

    91. ilikepiratesroar

      Wow- this comment section is very strange. I watched the video when it initially came out and for some reason, I was drawn back to this comment section. At first, I was worried. But when Simon said that he's been meditating for hours a day... it all made sense. I'm shocked at how entitled people feel, demanding all the details NOW. Reading into things that are not there, creating a narrative that is directly opposite from what Simon is expressing. It's so disrespectful. I'm sorry to both of you and I wish you a smooth road in your path towards healing.

    92. kate young

      As someone who has gone through separation and divorce over the past 3 years, from a partner of 10 years, it’s none of anyone’s GD business the minute by emotional rollercoaster of these situations. I didn’t speak to people I actually hold energy with, let alone people not directly in my life. I spoke when I needed to, and only to the people who I felt were capable of holding that intense energy. Separation is HARD! Figuring out how to move forward and ensuring there’s some kind of change is HARD! The pressure from family and friends is HARD! Sometimes we just need to be on that fence for a while, and one day a decision will feel right. Simon and Martina’s relationship with their audience is no different than the waitress and the regular at the coffee shop.

    93. Zamiani

      actually dude you look sick and brainwashed. lack of 6 pack is what have been bothering you? really? fixation on your "self-development" is a hole where you never reach the bottom but you keep falling deep. stop it. i don't believe you are actually doing better than before. i liked how active and funny you were guys. now you look like a meditating vegan on his way to anorexia and cancer.

    94. Jennifer Anderson

      This was a hard video to watch. It just gave me vibes that you’re really pushing yourself to be happy. Maybe you actually are though. It’s heartbreaking to see you two apart and for you to not even mention her name. I understand finding yourself and taking time...I just. Im sad. Martina is your family too. I don’t understand the full situation. I hope you both find happiness.

    95. Jenn kanaka

      Cheers! Been on my journey/self-project for the last 2 years. Best to you!

    96. Demie Rodriguez

      really needed this :(( this year has been a crazy one for me as well and while i am aware that these are challenges one has to go through in order to learn and develop one’s character, it’s still been stressful. seeing this though makes me a bit motivated about life and i believe you and martina are so resilient in the ways that you guys do the most to search for positive ways to progress in life despite the challenges that are thrown to you. you guys are definitely an inspiration and i find myself wanting to incorporate your ways in life with mine. thanks so much for the hard work you guys have put throughout the years and thanks so much for this video, simon! lots of love to you both :))

    97. neojng

      This makes me so sad

    98. Heather Glenn

      I'm so happy to hear you're working on yourself and doing better for it. I'm on a similar journey and went through a breakup at the start of lockdown in my country and it's just been really difficult but it's good to be focusing on myself for the first time in a long, long time. For me that's been figuring out what makes me happy, what I enjoy doing and also getting hard into my job and becoming the best damn chef I can. ^_^

    99. C S

      My first thought: Did he join a cult of some sort?

      1. Sakura kinomono

        omg i'm so glad i'm not the only one that thought that! i hope he's just recovering over burn out.

      2. copper sugar

        or maybe he's just in a transitional state in his life? idk what he (or anyone) is going or has gone through but it sounds like he's just finding new interests and passions in life, and obviously returning to his home and family. if i moved about countries and made longterm homes there and finally came back to my roots i think i would be this kinda 'out there' too. also i dont meditate but its pretty normal, school makes me do it sometimes so i dont think it's a culty thing

    100. Michelle

      Everyone needs to take time for themselves and that doesn't make you selfish. Shalom